Credits: I II III IV

Quotes of the moment.
"When you get tired, think back to days like this when you regretted it. Think of the days you treasure. Receive strength from it and live on."
-Shin Jihyun(49 DAYS)

"At this moment, there are 6 billion, 4 hundred, 71 million, 8 hundred, 18 thousand, 6 hundred, 71 people in the world. Some are running scared.. some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day.. others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good.. struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls -- and sometimes.. all you need is 1."

-Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love." -Tom Robbins

"Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering."
- Ida Scott Taylor

Peyton: That's what he writes. But what he says is a totally different story.
Haley: Sometimes people write the things that they can't say.

"Tree Hill is just a place somewhere in the world. Maybe it's a lot like your world, maybe it's nothing like it. But if you look closer, you might see someone like you. Someone trying to find their way. Someone trying to find their place. Someone trying to find their self. Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in the world, to remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you."

— Lucas Eugene Scott

"Don't leave, don't leave.
Lies, lies.

My name is Sherlene.
A girl who loves 동방신기 (DongBangShinKi) so much since 2005 but never met them even once. Even though they had been close to me a few times...
One day, I will. ;)
Music is my soul.
Take it away from me, takes away my life too.
One biggest weakness, once truly and faithfully in love, there's no more "I'll find someone better." Love is the only way that could lead her to become a complete idiot.


Sunday, March 20, 2011
Pessimistic Conquering Mind @ 1:20 AM
Listening to: F***ing Perfect by Pink

The music video is inspiring. It shows mostly about self-esteem and to make you realised when you're different, you have to accept it in a good way no matter what 'cus one day, someone will realised it too.

And let me warn about this post. It's gonna be filled with pessimistic thoughts and feelings which I chose to let it out here so that I could take it off from my chest instead of keeping it inside and might affect me mentally.

First of all. I know. I'm a Chinese but I can't speak the mother-tongue language, fine it's abnormal for most Chinese people. Some would call me the "banana" or "English-educated". The banana part, I'll accept it as a joke, and the English part, it's not that accurate, 'cus I don't speak English at home. But I might just be wasting my time explaining what Kelantanese-Chinese speaks because we're from the minority ethnic in Malaysia. So, I accept the staring when I said, "I can't speak Mandarin." I accept that glaring, that whispering, that "what-kind-of-Chinese-she-is" look. And mind pls, I've been hearing the SAME sentence since I was in primary, I'm nearly sick with it, and those sentences are going to be the Chinese sentences that will remained in my mind permanently 'till I die.

- "She can't speak Chinese"
- "She don't understand"
- "Why can't she speak Chinese? "
- "How come she don't look like Chinese?"

2nd. I know I don't look like Chinese. I obviously know that since I was small, believe me, childhood experience affects your whole entire life. Yes. Dark skin. Non-straight hair. I know the dark skin seems like the most reasonable thing for you all to say I'm not like Chinese. Fine. So I accept that staring and glaring when you just find out that I'm actually the same race with you.

3rd. When the first two existed, fear grew inside of me. I'm too afraid to socialise, I always wonder what people think, or expect the same answers and questions from people. And I seems like a burden, no matter how many times they explain that I'm not a burden to them, but I still know that I am. Obviously, what do you feel if people is busy chatting with their friends and one of them would always remind them that I'm there and said, "Eh.. you go talk to her.. she's so quiet." And the answer, "My English is not good... you lah.." And the conversation goes on and on and I felt like saying, "I do understand what you both are talking about. So, don't worry." I really don't like the feeling. Though no matter how hard I try to fit in their conversation, sometimes I get annoying response that I'm sick of hearing, "Eh? You understand what we're talking about?" This response is one of the reason that stopped me from joining the conversation in the end. Even if I understand, I chose to said I don't.

4th. Judgment. Obviously from my looks, to those who love to "judge a book by its cover" would reject an impression towards me already. Though it's kind of obvious how they treated me differently compared to my friends, and well... I don't have the right to comment about this. Obviously most Chinese guys would look at girls with fair skin first. MOST, I said. Why I said this, is because it did happened. To me. I can't say anything about that 'cus God made me who I am. And I never hated about how I look like, 'cus I love how I resemble my father a lot. But please, DO NOT insult my looks, because it's like insulting my parents.

Because of all this I less talk. I stayed by myself. In addition of that, I have no confidence to even like the guy I had a crush on. Because I know how different I am. And I know, to some people, it matters. When a person is different, they will forever be different in the eyes of other people.