Knowing the fact that you still can't forget the feelings on that particular person even though you said you did.
It's funny... when you told yourself you don't feel shy anymore like last time, but the fact you still feel happy when talking to that someone.
It's funny... when you told your friends you don't have any feelings to that someone but the fact that you kept talking bout that someone to your friends everyday.
The funniest thing is.. you said you won't be worried to get hurt because of that someone yet you still shed tears for that someone.
Gosh, I'm getting sick of myself. I'm disgusted with myself. Shoot me. Pls.
This video makes me smiled till' my cheeks hurts.
Lucas: Suddenly it was as if the roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzers, the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from 1,000 miles away, and what remained in that bizarre, muffled silence was only Peyton. The girl whose art, passion, and beauty had changed my life. In that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity. The realization that we had always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth -
I was now and would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer.
Music is a huge part of your life, and gives you strength when you most need it. You're not afraid to speak your mind, and you hold your family close to you.
from: Facebook


Peyton is a beautiful, talented artist who portrays her emotions through her art. She keeps her heart guarded most of the time, for fear that if she lets anyone in close she will lose them like many others. She forged a friendship with Brooke Davis during the third grade and that friendship has continued over the years. She then joined the cheerleading squad for Brooke and they have shared their ups and downs together. Peyton drives a 1963 Mercury Comet Convertible in all five seasons which at times happens to be a major plot point as it was because of it that she met and first spoke to Lucas.
She is often inspirational for other people such as Stella (played by Andrea Bowen) with whom she felt a kinship (they were both artists with similar personalities) and helped reunite with her foster family in deleted scenes, or Molly, a young girl who admired the Peyton from Lucas' book. Over the years she has grown apart from art and closer to music, which she used between others to launch a CD to raise money against breast cancer and create her own label.
source: Wikipedia

Gee gee gee! X) So cute. I want a hot body like them.
I'm so pissed with the computer right now. TVXQ updated a lot of things recently. They went performing their "HAHAHA" campaign at a school. TT_TT How I wished I'm from Korea and study there. Jaejoong in Taegoon's MV, looking HOT holding a gun. Hani, you better take care of your husband, his popularity is increasing 100000000+/second.
However I think I'm gonna stopped posting for now. Next week is Chinese New Year! :D Woohoo! Angpow angpow! Going back hometown! YAY! A place where I could rest my mind. Oh oh! This Friday is BB's Merentas Taman which I'm gonna attend. Yes, semangat betol. I haven't been running for a year already. It's part of my plan for working out to get my dream body. ;P
That's all for now. B.Y.E.
Note: Might be editing this post to celebrate my 200th post. ;)
This song keeps haunting me these days. Whenever I turn on the radio, this song would be played. The other day was even a coincidence, turn on Hitz FM and they played this song. Wasn't interested, so I turn on Fly FM. O_o; They started to play this song too. I thought I pressed the same button or something, so I turn on Hitz, then Fly FM again. Still the same song. O_O; Creepy. Since then, I kept "meeting" with this song. Suprisingly, every time I listened to this song, the radio won't be mentioning who's the singer and what's the title. Usually it's advertisement after the song ended. -__-; The interesting thing is, everytime I listen to this song, I have no idea who's the singer BUT I imagined Kim Jonghyun from SHINee sang it. O_o; Seriously, the voice kind of suit him. So yeah, I just imagined him singing it. And then, I just found out Jesse McCartney sang it. The video clip is interesting though. The way they showed how he erased the memories he had with the girl in the end. It's like everything collapsed.
by Jesse McCartney
(lyrics are written by Jesse McCartney)
Clutched
We've run out of words we've run out of time
We've run out of reasons really why we together
We both know it's over baby bottom line
It's best we don't even talk at all
Whoa-oh
Don't call me even if I should cross your mind
Hard enough I don't need to hear your voice on my messages
Let's just call it quits it's probably better
So if I'm not returning your calls it's 'cause
'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore
I got the picture phone but baby your picture's gone
Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed
'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna' to erase you from my mind
'cause it's over
I said girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you've been
Baby 'cause it's over
I still wake up every morning quarter to ten
I still eat my cereal right at the kitchen table
I can't even remember how long it's been
No trouble stayin' occupied
Oh they ask about you whenever I come around
I do what I can not to put my business in the streets
Last thing I need's another episode
Keep conversation short and sweet because
'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore
I got the picture phone baby your picture's gone
Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed
'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna' erase you from my mind
Baby 'cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over
You know that it's over when the burnin'
And the yearnin' inside your heart ain't there anymore
And you know that you're through when she don't do to you
And move you like the way she moved ya before
And you wanna pull her close
But your heart has froze
You kiss her but her eyes don't close
Then she goes out of your heart forever
And it hurts you but you know that it's better
Girl you know it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna erase you from my mind
'Cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over
'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna erase you from my mind
'Cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over
Though no matter how much the word 'end' kept coming out from the mouth, it's still there.
I really need to start.. concentrate on my dreams... until I don't even want to fall in love anymore.
-__- Duh. Stage fright was my greatest fear. That's why when I want to get involve with music, I prefer to be the composer than the singer. However, I faced that fear last year and I just realised I still had this phobia, glossophobia.
One of the causes of glossophobia:
- a series of beliefs formed early in life some of which have to do with speaking (ex.What I have to say is not important) and some of which have to do with competence and failure (ex. If I fail, I'll be rejected; I'm not capable).
Five causal elements were found to be present in the experience of performance anxiety/stage fright:
(1) I perceive or imagine the presence of significant others who are able to judge me.
(2) I consider the possibility of my visible failure at a task.
(3) I feel a need to do well to avoid failure
(4) I feel uncertain as to whether I will do well.
(5) I focus on my own behavior and appearance.
Yeap. That is sooooo ME. Oh, and this statement describe myself the most:
Some glossophobics have been able to dance or perform in public as long as they do not have to speak, or even speak (such as in a play) or sing as long as they cannot see the audience or they feel that they are a character or stage persona rather than presenting as themselves.
source: Wikipedia
I need a mental treatment for this. Felt like taking drugs before doing any speech. Seriously. Today was an extremely stressful day. First was during Economics, and then, MUET. Ergh. I suck when it comes to all these.
"The average person at a funeral would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy."
Moving on.. lately Hani and me are kind of disappointed on certain things/people.
Hani: TT_TT Aku rindu 2008.
Me: Aku tau..aku paham. Semue da lain.
Hani: Ramai cam da berubah. Da tak cam dlu..
Me: Cepat betol berubah. Baru sebulan due tak jumpe. Lepas 10 tahun agaknyer memang lain da smue.
*sigh* Life. People changed. Lives changed too. I still need to overcome my stupid phobia. Ergh. When will I grow up? I guess I'm still traumatised by what happened last year during MUET test.
"Isn't there anything I'm good at?", this pessimistic question keeps repeating in my head.
To tell the truth, there are really low possibilities that both of them will end up truely love/like each other.
I guess.. I can't blame that person. He's human too. Right? (:
Lucas: Listen I just wanted to say I'm sorry that we didn't get to spend more time together tonight.
Peyton: How'd it go with Brooke?
Lucas: I realized tonight that it's over between me and Brooke and she realized it, too.
Peyton: I love you Lucas.
Lucas: I love you too Peyton.
Peyton: You don't understand. I've been holding this in for a really long time... I just need you to know. I love you... I'm in love with you.
Lucas: Oh
Keith (to Lucas): It's a special thing, saying 'I love you' to people you love. Because you never know when you'll lose them, or when they'll lose you
Cus' it's scary that I had dreams but it looks as if I'm not doing anything to achieve it.
It's scary that I'm now at a place I'm supposed to be but not at a place that I wanted to be.
It's scary to think if I fail this one, I would disappoint my loved ones and if I pass this one, I would end up getting to do something that I don't like. Something that I'm capable with but I hated it so much.
It's scary to think everyone knows what they are doing, that's why they chosed this path and when they asked what I really wanted to do, I told them and in the end they would go, "But why did you go for form 6?"
Yes. It's scary cus' it's not even related to my dreams.
It's scary to think that some of us still don't know what they want to be but eventually they will find out and become what they wanted to be while I'm still stuck with my stubborness to go for what my dream is.
You see.. if you still don't have a clue what your future is..that's still okay. It's better than being the one that knows what they want but doesn't even know how to start.
Besides that.. being in love with someone that's way better than you is a scary thing too. I'm glad you didn't accept me. It's too obvious I'm not even close to good enough for you. Someone that doesn't even sure with their future shouldn't fall in love anyway.
That's what I thought.

Happy Birthday to this girl that:
-has the most amazing laugh in the world. XP
-when she got excited, everyone runs away from her.
-she's a lovable and a sweet person.
LAUGH ALWAYS with Diana and you'll lead a happy life! ;P
Hope you enjoyed your birthday my friend!
Daddy is going to send the keyboard for repair! YAY! I love my appa! (: I just realised I don't even know the road we have to take for Merentas Desa. O_o; They said it's gonna be two rounds. Zomg. Crazy ah? In the previous school, one round pon da nak pengsan.
Anyway, tomorrow is Friday and end of first week of school in 2009. Time sure passed so fast. Oh, and my first library duty starts tomorrow. Wow, I'm so looking forward for it. Yeah right. -__-; I totally enjoyed becoming Quater Master last time than librarian now. Sure, QM is kind of heavy work, carrying this and that, but it's fun. Librarian has too many conflicts and issues and too complicated.
Kopal: Tu lar.. suruh join prefects, tak nak.
Haha. Yeah. Kopal always said that and me and Hani would go.. "Tu ah..tapi prefects pon banyak hal gak. Same jer..." ;P Even now, we're having some issues with Koperasi. -___-; Hani sms-ed me saying she wants to quit. I felt like quitting too. Getting shouted everytime you want to help is a fun thing huh? Maybe I should just quit. Though everywhere I go I will still get the blame like what Hani said. -__-' Masalah betol. Selalu kene underameciated. ;P No difference anyway cus' I still have librarian.
CHINESE NEW YEAR is around the corner. YAY! (:
Lai lai ang pow... ;P
These first three days of school has been tiring to me. I know, the 'real' thing has not yet to come, and I'm complaining already. ^^; And my head is really 'heavy' right now. We have a new MUET teacher, Miss Muhanta. She's really nice. (: Another English teacher to be loved by me. I love all my English teachers. :D Merentas Desa is in this month and sports house practice will start next week. Omg. I need to be ready physically and mentally now.
Moving on...ZOMG. Hani is gonna hate my blog after this. XD

The new photos show Han Hyo Joo sitting next to Jaejoong and getting a bit too close for comfort. The reactions have been mixed. Some girls are saying that they're jealous / envious. Some girls are calling Jaejoong a traitor and turning on him. Some girls are saying that they want to beat up Han Hyo Joo. A few that think they look cute together, and there are some ELF-like fans that stated they wanted to die.
source: allkpop
GO AWAY! He's mine! ;)
I just realised I'm becoming selfish these days. Ergh. Hate myself for that.
School starts today and this is my first time being extremely busy during the first day of school. Selling books like crazy with Hani & Pei Fen. Pei Fen was sick and she even had to stay back for duty. And tomorrow is my turn with Hani. You're right, Hani. Our nightmare for this year had just begun. Haha. And we even stayed back with Kopal, Ash, Suren,Siva & Kavi. First day of school. XD But still, I miss staying back with them. It's been so long. Imagine when school ends. No more us hanging out together after school. Wow. I'll totally appreciate the moments with them.
Oh yeah, Kogul was angry with me. ;P I need to talk good things bout him now. Hahaha. He's a nice guy and a nice vice president. Hey, that's an honest statement,okay. ;D I love bullying him.
Read about Rocky Balboa in Arif's blog and somehow felt like I want to watch the movie. The quotes are really interesting. Especially the one when he explains about life to his son and about chasing your own dreams. Really. Wow. I want to watch it. Oh! Talk bout Arif, reminds me..the videos he told me to watch which he said, "Not scary at all." turns out to be.. ergh. Luckily I didn't get nightmares. The video, Rambo IV Kill Scene made me go. O_O; The beginning is already crazy (with the slashing the head part) and at the end when I thought it's over there's still the part that makes me go.. O_O; (the knife.the stomach. -__-;)There's people getting exploded into pieces. -___- Sungguh tak menakutkan yer, Arif? Ko ni memang ah. Mimpi aku yg sepatutnyer dipenuhi dengan muke Micky Yoochun tibe2 jadi mimpi yg dipenuhi org2 yg kepale meletup.
Anyway, that's all for now. (: I have another tiring day tomorrow. Need to get some rest, and dream about Micky. (and pls, no dreams about people getting exploded)
1. Tell dad to send the keyboard to be fix
2. Study for STPM
3. Remember to wish everyone happy birthday including fav singers. (:
4. Study Korean through net during weekends.
5. Check out TVXQ's news regularly
6. If keyboard are fixed, try practicing reading music notes.
7. NO watching movies at cinema at all until STPM over.
8. Avoid from going outings anymore EXCEPT if there is TVXQ's fansign session.
9. Cover up some library works before middle of year.
10. Stay healthy and work up to get Lee Hyori's body. (+dieting.)
11. Pierce 2nd holes for ears and get a tatoo and straighten hair. (after STPM)
Wish list
1. Able to read music notes.
2. Able to go university after STPM
3. TVXQ having fansign session in Malaysia and I can go.
4. Able to read in Korean and talk better.
5. TVXQ stay healthy
6. Able to get least Lee Hyori's abs.
7. Get rid of my pimples? X)
8. Dieting without getting gastric
9. Able to take picture with Micky? ;P
10. Everyone(friends, family, myself) stay healthy always.
DONE. (: Btw, To my future husband: We HAVE to get a son as talented as adorable as sweet as this guy, Lee Taemin. X)
It's his audition to SM. Extremely cute and talented. I'm glad he likes people call him cute cus' he is! I want to hug him and keep him as my son! :D Looove him like my own baby.







Anyway, school is opening tpmorrow. (: Wow. Time passed too fast. Have to go sleep now. Nite nite. Maybe gonna be online on weekends only for now. Unless, I felt like the NEED to find out what's happening to TVXQ. ;D

Wokay, here's the pictures of the day.






Oh oh! XD I've started to listen Japanese songs again. Thanks to Emma. W-inds songs are awsome. And and ONE OK ROCK too. (: My wish and to-do lists is gonna be posted later in the next post. :D
Translation:
Writings in the starting:
When a woman loves,
They become two-faced.
They call that emotion lust.
Loving to the extent of no pain.
Just enough so you can handle....
and get out fast if needed.
If I did...it might have hurt less...
Men don't know the woman's love
Men don't know the woman's heart
Men don't know the woman's love
Men don't know the woman's heart
Woman who trusts your love even though she knows
Woman who falls for it a few hundred times even though she knows
Woman who is regretful and thinks that this is love
Man who never knows this aching woman's heart
Even though I'm a woman who's very unfulfilling for you
I wish you can be my perfect prince always
Because a woman looks at overflowing love
and is still thirsty
I'm your woman
Don't cheat (Don't leave me alone)
Don't cheat (Don't leave me alone)
Don't look at other women other than me
Don't look somewhere else (Only look at me)
Don't look somewhere else (Only look at me)
The farther away you go, the clearer you become
(I get uneasy)
Don't cheat
Men don't know the woman's love
Men don't know the woman's heart
Men don't know the woman's love
Men don't know women as well as I thought
Even though we fight like we won't see each other ever again
Don't tell me that you want to leave me first
You hug me like a man first
Because I'm a woman that falls for your stupid excuses
even though it's clearly a lie
Don't play with a naive woman
Becuase I'm a woman that cries and laughs at your words
Don't cheat (Don't leave me alone)
Don't cheat (Don't leave me alone)
Don't look at other women other than me
Don't look somewhere else (Only look at me)
Don't look somewhere else (Only look at me)
The farther away you go, the clearer you become
(I get uneasy)
Don't cheat
Worried that my overflowing love will become addiction
Worried that you might become sick of my constant persuading
Even though you came into my heart on your own
I wish you wouldn't let go of my hand without my permission
Because you're my man despite what everyone else says
Because I'm your woman that can't live without your love
I'm a woman that isn't good with love
Because I'm a woman who's worried at whatever happens
I can't live because of you
Even though it's a repetition of tiring love
But I can't live without you
Because I love you more than anyone in this world
I can't live without you
Don't leave me alone
I can't live without your love
Don't leave me alone
Because you're my man
Despite what everyone else says
Because I'm a woman
Who can't live without love
I can't live without you
Don't leave me alone
I can't live without your love
Don't leave me alone
Because I'm a woman
Who's not good with love
Because I'm a woman
Who is worried all the time
Because I get concerned
Don't cheat
Men don't know the woman's love
Men don't know the woman's heart
Men don't know the woman's love
Why don't know know me well
After all the experience
Cre: YBG @ seeya.co.nr
Not saying only guys are like these. Some girls can be asses too, that's why we had playgirls. Whatever..some humans are just...too.. well..we just don't know.
I'll only accept one kind of playboy.
- Don't stop from making people laugh!
- Don't emo too much! :D
- SMILE!!
- Hope all your wishes come true!
- Good luck! (:
- You're 19 now! The oldest among us! hahahaha! ;P
Wow. 2008 is gone. I felt like it was yesterday when I welcomed 2008. And now, it's 2009. Yeap. Time does passed that fast, especially when you're enjoying your life. Was chatting with my friends through MSN, but it seems MSN hates me. -___-; It kept signing off. And YouTube is moving extremely slow than before. Nevermind. As long, I can still watch LIVE shows. I watched my oppa(s)!! :D However, I missed their performance in Kouhaku cus' I was out at GIANT with mom and Christine. Shopping. X) Hee. Be amazed that there IS at least some good clothes in GIANT.
Then, I watched CDTV till' now, and they were performing like at 4 am, Japan timing. =__=; Crazy. The sun has already started to rise at this time there. Gosh. These guys need some break before anyone would end up hospitalized like other singers. Luckily, they have a 2 days off. They'll continue their schedule this Saturday. So, oppa(s), get some rest okay? (: Your Purple Line performance in CDTV is still great even though you all look tired. I enjoyed it. I guess, it's worth it, after waiting for hours. Get some sleep now.
And because JAEHO is the best couple in TVXQ and because we love them...

Taemin can become Yunho's 'daughter'! X)